IKE

I haven't had too much time to get my pictures and stuff up of Ike, since work is priority number 1. I will be consumed until I get us caught up. My main connection is twitter.

I was able to get on to twitter via my cell phone during the great power outage of 2008. And twitter was a source of information when I couldn't get info anywhere else.

But I did record for the first time some video, this is just playing around type stuff but it was part of my experience.

The best part is my 5 year old cousin talking about her mom.

Kinda Bummed

The last two weeks of my life were consumed with IKE and the interuption to power in my city. The whole City 2.5 million people. I know centerpoint had a big job to deal with but by the second week, we were getting fustrated. I know my anger level was on the edge. I was just waiting for somebody to piss me off. but alas I survived. I am one of the lucky ones. there are so many more people who lost it all. And Galveston is in my thoughts. It isn't the greatest beach but it is ours.

So, with all the chaos in my life I didn't get time to really compute that one of the great actors has past, Paul Newman. I had seen many movies with him but about 2 years ago I decided to watch some old movies one of them being Cat on a Hot Tin Roof. I was shocked. At how handsome Paul Newman was. He was almost perfect. almost.
So was Elizabeth Taylor. There are no actors today that could even compare to them, in their ability to act and to look damn good.

So, I had a new fondness for Paul Newman. I loved Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and of course Cool Hand Luke. So, it was sad news to hear he passed.



the hottness

Houston Arts Alliance Announce Grant for Houston Artists

Grant Program Announcement
INDIVIDUAL ARTIST GRANT for FY 2009
Individual Artist Grant Program offers two types of
Grants for the FY09 Grant Period
1. New Work Fellowships
Includes the Emerging & Established Artist category
2. New Work Artist Project Grant
Read the Guidelines for eligibility and to determine which grant you are eligible for (New Works Fellowship or Artist project). Detailed definitions of each type of grant can be found in the guidelines along with criteria.

Deadlines for the first round of applications:
Online application due by September 26, 2008
Support materials due October 1, 2008

Fellowships and Artist Projects are open to individuals who are residents of the City of Houston for two full-consecutive years at the time of application. Proof of residency required. Please read the Guidelines for more details. Guidelines can be found http://www.haatx.com/grantsartist.html

Application Workshops will be offered to help applicants with submitting a complete and accurate application. Workshop dates are listed in the guidelines.

September 10, 2008
eGrant © Application Workshop
12:00 – 1:30 p.m. Held at the Houston Arts Alliance
3201 Allen Parkway, Suite 250
Houston, TX 77019

September 10, 2008
eGrant © Application Workshop
5:30 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. Held at the Houston Arts Alliance

September 17, 2008
eGrant © Application Workshop
12:00 – 1:30 p.m. Held at Fifth Ward Multi Service Center
4014 Market Street
Houston, Texas 77020

September 17, 2008
eGrant © Application Workshop
5:30 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. Held at the Houston Arts Alliance

September 19, 2008
eGrant © Application Workshop
12:00 – 1:30 p.m. Held at the Denver Harbor Multi-Service Center
6400 Market Street
Houston, TX 77020

September 22, 2008
eGrant © Application Workshop
5:30 p.m. – 7:00 p.m. Held at the Houston Arts Alliance

Cool Stuff from two weeks ago.

A couple of weeks ago we held a workshop and it incorporated all the stuff I love. Internet, art and maybe some crafty stuff.

Here's some cool things to check out.

The Caroline Collective

Dr. Sketchy Houston

Happy Katie I met her at that meeting and she's got an awesome job.

Other things I have been doing is reading a couple of graphic novels.

Of course Season Eight of Buffy.

and
The Umbrella Academy even though it is written by the My Chemical Romance Guy, it is really good.


And because I never read it and there is a bunch of talk about the pending movie.



Oh and last weeks gallery opening at our space125gallery was awesome. This picture was taken by Crystal and is a piece by Lovie Olivia, the whole show is awesome check it out.


This was just fun. At Heros Alter Egos Taken by Crystal Benavides of Varina Rush

August 18th

Today would have been my grandfather's birthday. Today would have been my parents anniversary. With in a four month period I lost both my grandfather and my dad in 2007. So today, I'm just trying to get through it so I can start working on tomorrow.

A few of weeks ago I did a dumb ass thing and got to close to a rather large truck. Instead of slowing down to let the truck go ahead I stayed next to it and at a curve in the road he got too close and I swerved. Hitting the curve and blowing out a tire and damaging another one. Two tires in two seconds. I could hear my dad, picking on me for that mistake. He had many laws, one was the law of ton-age - the one that has the most ton-age has the right of way. Him getting on me for my driving - I miss. The things you miss.

Awesome-ness of the Awesome

One of my favorite groups is Rage Against the Machine. Well it was since the band no longer exist but the members still produce some awesome music.

New Stuff by Zach de la Rocha - One Day As A Lion

I can do with out the male bravado of living life as a lion. But its amazing sounds.

Speaking of male bravado. I am drawn to these Discovery Channel reality shows that show fishing in the Bering Sea and Dirty Jobs, it is educational entertainment. I recently read the blog of Mike Rowe and I was quite impressed. Fun Stuff. I watch thinking that looks really tough, as I pull the blanket so my toes won't be cold.

I have a whole week off soon. One more day. And I am going to spend some time focusing on some art. Photos I need to take but haven't and other stuff I have been collecting that needs to be either put in some sort of collage or set on fire. One location I have been wanting to photograph is this area close to my home it is sort of a cross area for trains. So there are alot of them. But I have to be careful It might be considered suspisous.

Other things, spending time with friends from El Paso. One of who is knocked up.

Other Awesome things.
1. Thin Mint Blizzard at Dairy Queen.
2. Vacation count down the closer it gets the more cheery I become.
3. Twitter. God i love that thing.
4. Hanging with Family. They crack me up.

Ow Charlie that really hurt...

Charlie Bit Me - Watch more free videos

my brain hurts.

I am trying to make sense of my emotions. I can’t seem to get things in order. I know that grief especially that of the lost of a loved one takes time. And maybe I want to not feel all these emotions at once, but I also know that I can’t function right now. In appearance I sort of got it together but when I am alone I can’t help but just becoming a basket case.

The one thing that has helped is reading. I have gotten through 4 or 5 books in the last two weeks. Now I sort of stalled out on David Copperfield – Dickens. Sort of loving this book. It has the right amount of humor.

The other thing I bought and feel like a total regression was the latest installments of Buffy the Vampire Slayer Season Eight – comic book by Joss Whedon. It was kind of strange being immersed in that genre. Comic books are for fan boys. Boys being the key word.

But it was fun. I took me back to my collection of comic books I had when we lived in Kingsville, I can’t remember the titles but I remember going to the PX on base (Dad was stationed there) and picking out a comic book. I also had a mean collection of Tiger Beat but I will leave that for later.

So, other than reading I am doing research on things I probably shouldn’t be but I think it is a have to know kind of thing. My father’s cancer was caused by his exposure to Agent Orange in Vietnam.

Agent Orange is a defoliant herbicide mixture used during the Vietnam War to destroy forests in Vietnam. The United States sprayed 20 million gallons of Agent Orange over forests in Vietnam, and as a result, members of the armed forces were exposed to it. Agent Orange, so-called from the orange color of its storage drums, is a 50:50 mixture of the butyl esters of 2,4-D and 2,4,5-T. It is probable that damage to humans would be due to the highly toxic impurity 2,3,7,8-tetrachlorodibenzo-p-dioxin, often simply called dioxin, present in Agent Orange.

I love America.

The right amount of bass

My neighbors have no concept of how to properly use the bass-treble combination on their car stereo. Instead of some serious thumping they are just jarring the screws loose in their otherwise crappy Nissan. I try to go easy on my neighbors, they are just a bunch of guys trying to earn a living, but there is no excuse for blasting a horrid playlist of songs from their car, while the car is in the driveway. Once they played Celine Dion. Enough said.

I kind of want to see this movie: NSFW

When Brad's in town i am so stalking

Not that I am super attracted to Brad Pitt just that he is in my city.

Vacation

I get three whole days off next week. And I need them. I have been feeling a bit tired – okay strike that a lot tired. I just want to stay in and enjoy some days not behind the desk. One of the things I will do is spend time with the dogs. Major and Chief

Chiefy has a date with a scalpel. I hope all goes well. Chief is the younger of the two dogs I care for. He belongs to my mother. I’m sort of starting to feel bad about it because this was a point of contention with my dad.

“He’s keeping his balls.” My dad would say, that’s sort of a quote, the real argument was that I thought Chief should get neutered and he said not until he (Chief), and this is a quote, “got some.” My argument was – well where is this going to happen he doesn’t hang out with other dogs, all he’s got is Major (my dog) and Major is fixed. My dad swore he would find Chief a female.

Lately Chief has been ungentlemanly towards other dogs who have come to visit – dogs that are fixed. So, Chief will be neutered. This is for his own good, he has grown some what aggressive towards smaller animals, and he feels the need to mark his territory more often. The bad part is he does this in the house, weather it is mine or my moms’; he thinks both homes are his territory.

In this instance we are going against my dad’s wishes to keep chief a whole dog – yes my dad considered a neutered dog half a dog. And I sort of feel bad about that but the reasons far outweigh his wishes.

Sorry Dad. The balls are coming off.

So the bad thought in my head right now is – kind of a sick joke, which I would never do. Never ever. But what I would say to my dad if I could is - well we can always bury them with you. Dig a spot by your grave and toss Chief’s balls in there.

I know my dad would have found that funny.

trying to goof off

I've been trying to prioritize my goof off moments. But I keep getting distracted. I want to make little collages out of magazine cut outs but all I do is look through the magazine and then toss it on a pile. I want to write poems about Major and Chief but all I end up doing in making doodles of their names.

So, I rely on the web, twitter fun, facebook fun, etc. lots of fun.

Not that any of this stuff really helps my depression. Im at the point where I might just say "ah fuck it" give me the stupid drugs...could anything be worst?

But, I do have some prospects. things to look forward to... vacation planning. A whole week in April. A couple of art classes and spring.

This is the best picture I took last week. I was just sitting outside enjoying the cool breeze and took a pic of the AIG building. I hate that building cause it represents big insurance.

Things I like today.

My collection of unread books, gives me hope because I know I will read them.

My puppy dog, he is so cute and knows how to cheer me up, he is kind of a dork and really goofy. His brother is equally funny.

That the sun was out today.

Being distracted with facebook and other social networks.

My biggest wish is to hear my dad’s voice. And then I remembered his voicemail, I called it and it made me smile and sad at the same time.

My Dad

Each day at work I would call my dad around 3 to 4 pm just to check on him. I would ask him pretty much the same thing and we would either end up in a conversation about whatever is going on in the news, the dogs or how he was feeling. Then there were days like this when the weather was bad and I would call him to ask him is it raining over there? His reply "no. is it raing where you're at."

It is the smallest thing that just brings the wave of sadness. I miss talking to him and seeing him and whatever else goes with loss. But I have to come clean some how because I am doing an excellent job of hiding it.

The name of this blog

Has become so stupid to me. I wanted to just post stuff I like and things that make me happy but so far nothing. It has been three weeks since my dad passed. And I know people say it gets better with time. But they lie. Or at least you have to get pass that stage of he's not here any more. So that the mental suffocation can stop.

And yesterday was a bad day, because I just thought at random let me call my dad to see how he is doing, and realizing I couldn't. It about floored me. And I was at work. Crying at work...not good.

I wrote this to my friend the other day we both made twelve wishes for the New Year and these were mine:

My 12 wishes:
1. That everybody stays healthy.
2. Specifically my mom and grandma.
3. That Major and Chief stay cute and never run away.
4. That you guys get your wishes.
5. That luck is on my side more often.
6. That work doesn't change as far as programming or whatever.
7. The writer's strike ends
8. To win the lottery.
9. To actually get my garage in order.
10. To be more creative
11. To write more.
12. To get through this.

And I got one of my wishes. My Aunt and mother cleaned my garage for me. It was awesome.

December 17th

My father passed away at around noon on December 17, 2007. It has been hard to accept this, because there was some hope that things would get better. I loved him and I know he loved me and I have no regrets that anything wasn’t said. He is missed.



Dalton E. Alexander, passed away on Monday, December 17, 2007 at the age of 66. Mr. Alexander was born December 13, 1941 to James and Lucille Alexander in Hubbard, Texas. He was a BMCS in the United States Navy and retired after 25 years of service. He also retired from Chase Bank where he served as a Security Officer. Mr. Alexander is preceded in death by his father, James Alexander, sister, Sara Alexander and brother, Jimmy Alexander. He is survived by his loving family which includes; wife, Gloria Alexander, daughter, Elizabeth J. Alexander, mother, Lucille Alexander, brothers, Carlton Alexander of Whitney, Texas and Daulton L. Alexander of Burleson, Texas, sisters, Nelda Kattner of Waco, Texas and Peggy Morris of Whitney, Texas and many other relatives and friends.